I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
