shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
