I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
