i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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