Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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