hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
