would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
