You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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