woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
