Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
