Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
A bitchslap is in order.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
