Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
