I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
