Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
