I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He shit in the fireplace
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
