no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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