U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
