Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
