24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
