Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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