Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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