Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Holy sore nipples Batman
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
