Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
