Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
