She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
honey bunches of taint.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The air was thick with penises
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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