she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
