Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Do vagina's smell?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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