You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
