We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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