insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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