How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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