So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
