just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
