porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
