I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
