I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
