Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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