As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Dignity is for republicans.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
