I could have mohawked her pubes.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
