Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you will always have a special place in my vag
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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