Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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