i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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