I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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