I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
