i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
