his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
