I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
