so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
This is my gift to your gina
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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