I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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