allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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