I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
